Just Smile.

The amazing yet scarred girls, ruined long before meeting me, seem to be my specialty. I get them, I try to understand and give support, not too much, but each time they slip through my fingers. Yep I can feel it happening again, they all drift away, eventually. But I’m not whining, this happens, a healthy relationship consists of two people’s choices, not one, yet still disappointing, at least I’m seeing this coming right?

Its been found in studies that the most creative of people find it easier, as well as produce some of the most amazing well known pieces when they’re in  negative states of mind. For example Charles Bukowski, his poetry, short stories, novels all surrounded the average lives of poor Americans, the act of writing, alcohol, relationships with women and the drudgery of work. Times magazine even described Bukowski as the “laureate of American lowlife”. Its as if Bukowski sacrificed happiness for this unmatched writing that has left behind a legacy of creative genius.

Learning of this apparent connection, I find myself realising that I only really write when I’m not feeling too happy with myself.

There’s only one thing I can focus on (besides the obvious uni, work, etc, etc) and that is being truthful to myself, expect less of others and appreciate more. I hate losing like everyone else does and quoting The Rolling Stones “You cannot always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need”

Now to talk this amazing girl and be told what I already know.

Yours sincerely the for once realist but learning just to smile

Alexander Vince

P.S I know I don’t deserve her. I’ve realised that.

Can’t Survive On Candy

So I came to the reality I can’t “survive on candy” I will refer to candy as those fairytales, those hopes we hold for certain people, that infatuation that is undeniably seductive and sweet. That small supple frame, her cheeky curves, a body that puts the devils charm to shame, bublegum tongue with each addictive taste leaves you yearning those thorny rose lips that dig closer to your fragile and vulnerable self. Then her every gesture unfathomably innocent and well…. purely… gently, gracefully just nice. She’s independent, a mother who rears her child with great responsibility and amazing amiability, she holds all the qualities that every man should want in a potential spouse. How can I deny myself from such a girl? I have become entranced, I haven’t wasted a thought or a glance on another girl, I am completely captivated by her.
But the best part of it all is I want to change for the good, better myself, stop this selfish rampage drowning myself in a sea of the female lustful reproductive systems, I want to have this devotion to a person.
I really am miserable, I fall “in an alcohol induced love” with a women for the night only to wake up the next morning dreadfully disappointing them and myself to find our lustful conquest useless and a failure to anything that resembled the last night’s deep attraction. I know this isn’t the way to go around establishing a strong foundation for a relationship, but it seems that most of the lonelyhearts are at that bar, that night club, that house party or at that pub, do I yearn for such a connection so desperately I latch myself to a fellow lonely heart for but a grain of that familiar sense of security, contentnes and comfort. Admittedly I do.
I am such a hypocrite, I feel horrible for what I’ve done to these perfectly nice girls and I can use some poor excuse but ultimately I am sorry.

Now back to the original point, do I deserve this girl(or any girl)? Or will I wonder around in this life watching others joys and success such as the family across the street in their cottage like house, the mother playing with her child in the playhouse, the father applying himself to household maintenance in a sweet serene family scene, of what i see as happiness.
I guess time will tell because do I have any other choice but to wait….

Yours the apologetic and troubled sleeper

Alexander Vince

I Guess Its Like Rehab

I’m feeling good, happy, free I guess.

There’s been a lot of thinking over the past month, a lot of anger, frustration, regret, and a fucking stupid amount of things going through my head.

Its like rehab but the cold sweats in the middle of the night replaced with awful dreams, the shakes with constant reminders of her, and that addiction silently talking to you swapped with the constant never ending thoughts poking and teasing you of the past.
But I’m not going to say I was in pain throughout my last relationship, most of it was good and great times, but I need my time of freedom, to take a step back and look at everything and do everything that I want to. Without having to rely or be supported by anyone else therefore not experiencing the frustrations of disappointments when things fall through.
I’ve got myself, yeah sure loneliness is a problem I’ve got to face, but we all have to at some point.

I’m aiming at self reliance, defining, bettering and getting to know myself.
Okay now that’s enough about the pain, the change. Now to tell you what I’ve done for the relief, its fun… fun… and yes fun!

Which includes:

– Alcohol

– Smoking (stopping atm… again)

– A string of girls

– Took a lesbian home (yes that even surprised me)

– An unbelievable amount of training at the gym

–  Spending money (oh you all know it feels good)

– Just concentrating on Uni (perhaps not the most uplifting experience, but it takes your mind of things)

So I guess I’m going to have to tell you the lesbian story, well lets just say my mind wasn’t “there” my middle member controlled everything, I know its not very tasteful to do so but there’s an evolutionary theory why we(men) are the way we are, being “sex-crazed” to ensure the continuation of our lineage, but of course this theory or function is obsolete in our modern age society and is probably the most often used criticism by our female counterparts, personally I don’t see anything wrong with having a healthy sex life, just use a rubber, a dom, protection, sheepskin, bag, happy hat, jimmy cap, nodder, raincoat, or a glove. You know what I mean right?
No? Really?
Okay… Here’s something that will spark that light bulb of yours:

– No glove, no love.

– Don’t be silly, wrap you willy.

– Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool.

– Don’t be a ding-dong, cover you shling-shlong.

– Don’t be a wenis, protect you penis.

– If there’s gunna be affection, cover your erection.

– If your gunna banger, cover your wanger.

– There only a buck, get one before you fuck.

– If you think she’s spunky, cover your monkey.

– If you slip between her thighs, condomize.

– While your undressing Venus, dress up your penis.

– If you think she’ll sigh, cover old one eye.

– Avoid a frown, contain your clown.

– Cage that snake then shake and bake.

– Cover your vein then drive her insane.

– Wrap that Steed then trample her weeds.

Alright did you get it? Ahhh the last horse crosses the finish line…
Well anyway where was I? Oh yes I was pretty much doing the mating dance ritual with a girl on the dance floor, I had her pushing up against me, grabbing my ass, which really I kind of fancied, swapping roles a Little? Hahah then there was confusing she was 29 years old, my gay friend had a huge go(long story) but apparently the girl was “rank” like every other girl he’d commented on, well that’s a frustrated gay guy for you, but in the confusion he introduced me to this other girl, and in a drunken manner I quickly zoned in on an intense conversation with a Trinity looking girl from the matrix, lets call her that shall we! So got to my place, she wildly took my clothes off, ripped hers off in a flurry of tongue curling, griping, nail scratching, teeth biting, pelvis clenching magnificence. Then there it was….

SOOO MUCH BUSH!

Oh yeah it was there “BAM” she had so much, so much pride in herself, no stupid self image issues, that was HOT, yeah sure bush isn’t my thing even in politics but the self-confidence, the roar of Independence and beauty of being able to stand right in front of me, completely nude and vulnerable to sight and judgement without wincing. Yep WOW. I’ve always been able to walk around naked, it hasn’t bothered me, but most of my girlfriends have been so self-conscious, that its actually a let down, and most of the time such a joke because they’re all so beautiful, that I can’t help but laugh at the unfathomable reason of why they are that way, in reality they have nothing to worry about.
But anyway the Bush didn’t end there, there was a little bit of hair in the underarm, and I’m thinking yeah sure not what I’m used to but what the hell, then after the heightened intense super fun time, we talked, she’s mainly had girlfriends and hadn’t been with a guy in over 5 years. I felt privileged I must admit!

I felt dominated that night, as if she was the lioness and I was her prey, and oh I LOVED IT!

Well that’s enough of fun for one early morning 🙂

Yours the free, the conqueror, the happy and the rehabilitated

Alexander Vince

KEEP CHIPPER! 😀

Its Been A While…..

1st of July 2011

Wow time flies, maybe not with wings, although the hour/minute arms look like wings, especially when its 9:15 Pm (yes I’m talking about a clock, I’m a bit different okay! Its called being unique!). Anyhow its Friday the 1st of July, its uni holidays and my life has vastly made itself even bigger, more complex and amazing as each second goes by. I apologize for my absolute laziness in writing my posts but how exciting would my life be if it didn’t take precedence or charge over my writing? (Even if it took over completely)

I don’t know whether i could even release it in chapters as so much has happened over the past months, that i could probably write a book. But you’ll be getting the shortened version, only the exciting bits of course!

I’ve been back up to Sydney, visited family and friends, and drank way too much! (I’ll show you some pictures!)

My best mate from Sydney came down with me to see the lime light of Launceston…(Which shall be talked of in the next post)

And oh did he have fun…. You’ll have to find out

By the way I’m a hundred percent sober, since Wednesday night/early hours of Thursday and I’m currently once again cleansing myself of smoking. Yes I know its Friday, but you have to start somewhere right! Lowered drinking levels, and a complete stop to smoking!

I’m also considering moving houses.

On the list of things to do….

THE LIST OF THINGS TO DO – UNI(always first ) – Write a story about a beautiful red dragon and an attractive blue dragon (Still working on the title and most of the story, as its still on going) – Save money(for a rainy day) – Move out of this place(long story) – Still enjoy ones self (pretty self explanatory)

But there are a many things i wish to talk about today, mainly sex, but also my girlfriend, yes that’s right girlfriend!

My previous post about the girl i met is indeed about my current girlfriend, Mars has finally met Venus, and damn its good! Pretty much 4 months in a couple of weeks She has such a lust for life it almost makes her so sick it would keep her bedridden for days, so things were pretty rocky to begin with, but now on the relationship front it seems pretty good! Hi 5 anyone?

Anyway time for sex talk!

I’ve had a many conversations with friends about the opposite sex, especially when your on your guys night out, and there’s an absolutely “drop dead gorgeous” girl wearing a skimpy, tight fitted, shiny, and extremely revealing dress, and many guys would roll around on the ground like a puppy dog, or attach a leash to themselves to hand to her, just to hope to have sex with her…. Multiple times…. But it seems like a massive annoyance to ourselves that us men, crave sex, all the time, and its worse then you think. (a guys point of view) From when you lose your virginity, its an addiction, which goes with the saying “once you pop you can’t stop” some may not feel the same way, but the majority do. Everyone has their addictions smoking, narcotics, alcohol, etc, and etc, but the stereotypical female thinking that all men want is sex, isn’t completely true, as much as I’d love to have it every hour of every day I can do without! Even though I get twitchy…. I read a story about a guy so wound up about sex, he chopped his own penis off, still didn’t fix the problem but still sounds fucked up.  Yes this is probably an extreme case of addiction or mostly some kind of insanity and isn’t quite as regular, but maybe most of us men have a “softcore” addiction to sex, or just maybe its our evolutionary instincts, as quoted by Famous Irish comedian/actor Dylan Moran “The race must continue! The race must continue!”, its also known that in the past, the male was supposed to “spread his seed” as much as possible so his lineage will continue, so where does this leave guys who are continually under scrutiny from woman. SEXIST AGAINST MEN! I THINK SO   Narr, I’m just kidding, but hopefully if a woman, or a girl is reading this and realises that there’s a reason to our “addiction” or our yearning to sex you up, you will be more understanding and you should actually take it as a compliment as they are genuinely attracted to you. Besides many “Girls feel the need to love to have sex, but guys feel the need to have sex to love.” that’s right, so moral of the story is, we’re all fucked up, so lets just have sex. Just kidding haha

OH AND P.S ON THIS STORY, If you are actually and completely terrible at sex, its called “PORN” its good research material, which is why we watched it when we were teenagers in the midst of beginning our sex lives. AND PLEASE ATLEAST TRY, AND I MEAN GENUINELY TRY TO GET HER OFF, OTHERWISE YOUR A GREEDY SELFISH BASTARD. AND AND…. I’m kinda embarrassed to say I’m pumped for the new Harry Potter movie, does anybody else think Hermione’s hot? I JUST CAN’T WAIT FOR ALL THE HARRY POTTER FANATICS TO TURN INTO AIMLESS ZOMBIES AFTER ITS RELEASE, It’ll be like “ZombieLand” or “Dawn Of The Dead”, THE ANTICIPATION IS KILLING ME! haha.

Well that’s enough for tonight…

I’m off to my girlfriends house

Yours the addicted  and the fallen

Alexander Vince

Pictures!

Yes its a top hat

Me and my mate Adam, at The Oatley Hotel… In Oatley….

Cheeese!

TOP HAT!

 MUGSHOT!

CAMERA PHONE BATTLE!

 TOM!

WITH A CAMERA PHONE!

KIRK!

TOM WITH HIS CAMERA PHONE! AGAIN!

My pet Monty, he’s a homie!

Morning i was leaving

The bottle of wine me and Adam drank before I got on the plane to Tasmania