I’m feeling good, happy, free I guess.
There’s been a lot of thinking over the past month, a lot of anger, frustration, regret, and a fucking stupid amount of things going through my head.
Its like rehab but the cold sweats in the middle of the night replaced with awful dreams, the shakes with constant reminders of her, and that addiction silently talking to you swapped with the constant never ending thoughts poking and teasing you of the past.
But I’m not going to say I was in pain throughout my last relationship, most of it was good and great times, but I need my time of freedom, to take a step back and look at everything and do everything that I want to. Without having to rely or be supported by anyone else therefore not experiencing the frustrations of disappointments when things fall through.
I’ve got myself, yeah sure loneliness is a problem I’ve got to face, but we all have to at some point.
I’m aiming at self reliance, defining, bettering and getting to know myself.
Okay now that’s enough about the pain, the change. Now to tell you what I’ve done for the relief, its fun… fun… and yes fun!
– Smoking (stopping atm… again)
– A string of girls
– Took a lesbian home (yes that even surprised me)
– An unbelievable amount of training at the gym
– Spending money (oh you all know it feels good)
– Just concentrating on Uni (perhaps not the most uplifting experience, but it takes your mind of things)
So I guess I’m going to have to tell you the lesbian story, well lets just say my mind wasn’t “there” my middle member controlled everything, I know its not very tasteful to do so but there’s an evolutionary theory why we(men) are the way we are, being “sex-crazed” to ensure the continuation of our lineage, but of course this theory or function is obsolete in our modern age society and is probably the most often used criticism by our female counterparts, personally I don’t see anything wrong with having a healthy sex life, just use a rubber, a dom, protection, sheepskin, bag, happy hat, jimmy cap, nodder, raincoat, or a glove. You know what I mean right?
Okay… Here’s something that will spark that light bulb of yours:
– No glove, no love.
– Don’t be silly, wrap you willy.
– Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool.
– Don’t be a ding-dong, cover you shling-shlong.
– Don’t be a wenis, protect you penis.
– If there’s gunna be affection, cover your erection.
– If your gunna banger, cover your wanger.
– There only a buck, get one before you fuck.
– If you think she’s spunky, cover your monkey.
– If you slip between her thighs, condomize.
– While your undressing Venus, dress up your penis.
– If you think she’ll sigh, cover old one eye.
– Avoid a frown, contain your clown.
– Cage that snake then shake and bake.
– Cover your vein then drive her insane.
– Wrap that Steed then trample her weeds.
Alright did you get it? Ahhh the last horse crosses the finish line…
Well anyway where was I? Oh yes I was pretty much doing the mating dance ritual with a girl on the dance floor, I had her pushing up against me, grabbing my ass, which really I kind of fancied, swapping roles a Little? Hahah then there was confusing she was 29 years old, my gay friend had a huge go(long story) but apparently the girl was “rank” like every other girl he’d commented on, well that’s a frustrated gay guy for you, but in the confusion he introduced me to this other girl, and in a drunken manner I quickly zoned in on an intense conversation with a Trinity looking girl from the matrix, lets call her that shall we! So got to my place, she wildly took my clothes off, ripped hers off in a flurry of tongue curling, griping, nail scratching, teeth biting, pelvis clenching magnificence. Then there it was….
Oh yeah it was there “BAM” she had so much, so much pride in herself, no stupid self image issues, that was HOT, yeah sure bush isn’t my thing even in politics but the self-confidence, the roar of Independence and beauty of being able to stand right in front of me, completely nude and vulnerable to sight and judgement without wincing. Yep WOW. I’ve always been able to walk around naked, it hasn’t bothered me, but most of my girlfriends have been so self-conscious, that its actually a let down, and most of the time such a joke because they’re all so beautiful, that I can’t help but laugh at the unfathomable reason of why they are that way, in reality they have nothing to worry about.
But anyway the Bush didn’t end there, there was a little bit of hair in the underarm, and I’m thinking yeah sure not what I’m used to but what the hell, then after the heightened intense super fun time, we talked, she’s mainly had girlfriends and hadn’t been with a guy in over 5 years. I felt privileged I must admit!
I felt dominated that night, as if she was the lioness and I was her prey, and oh I LOVED IT!
Well that’s enough of fun for one early morning 🙂
Yours the free, the conqueror, the happy and the rehabilitated