Lust, Inevitably Leads To Loneliness Or Something Like That.

My Life Stories, From the highest to the lowest, and the grey area crap inbetween that forms my life so far…

Archive for the tag “happiness”

Just Smile.


The amazing yet scarred girls, ruined long before meeting me, seem to be my specialty. I get them, I try to understand and give support, not too much, but each time they slip through my fingers. Yep I can feel it happening again, they all drift away, eventually. But I’m not whining, this happens, a healthy relationship consists of two people’s choices, not one, yet still disappointing, at least I’m seeing this coming right?

Its been found in studies that the most creative of people find it easier, as well as produce some of the most amazing well known pieces when they’re in  negative states of mind. For example Charles Bukowski, his poetry, short stories, novels all surrounded the average lives of poor Americans, the act of writing, alcohol, relationships with women and the drudgery of work. Times magazine even described Bukowski as the “laureate of American lowlife”. Its as if Bukowski sacrificed happiness for this unmatched writing that has left behind a legacy of creative genius.

Learning of this apparent connection, I find myself realising that I only really write when I’m not feeling too happy with myself.

There’s only one thing I can focus on (besides the obvious uni, work, etc, etc) and that is being truthful to myself, expect less of others and appreciate more. I hate losing like everyone else does and quoting The Rolling Stones “You cannot always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need”

Now to talk this amazing girl and be told what I already know.

Yours sincerely the for once realist but learning just to smile

Alexander Vince

P.S I know I don’t deserve her. I’ve realised that.

Genuine


I Would not be surprised if you all are thinking “FOR GOD SAKES NOBODY CAN BE THIS HAPPY FOR THIS LONG” but its not just burst of happiness soon to die out in an ember,  its genuine happiness, with each passing moment a constant reminder things can only get better.

Its that feeling stepping in from the miserable cold outside into the warmth from smiling faces and flickers of the homely fireplace happy to see you or even on the sickly hot dry days where there is that soothing cool breeze or shade making the most unbearable heats seem un-noticeable, almost a perfection, its also the pleasure a gentlemen takes in sipping his whisky on the rocks, the innocent gleeful smile from a child, laughing with your friends till you feel like you have no control at all and all you can do is fall, also for you smokers taking that first draw from your cigarette after a long day. I have no means to try and make you understand, but it feels like all of this and more. It gives you the ability to notice.. well “the little things” as people say, and think wow, this it, this is what’s its supposed to be like.

I have a lot people to thank for this, Family, friends and “Missy”.

I don’t think I’ve known a relationship or a girl without its carry on luggage of doubts, don’t get me wrong there were happy times, but they were equally if not overtaken by its disappointments or unhappiness and until recently I thought that’s the way things were.

Its like arriving at a mysterious place in the dark, slowly seeing the light reveal, each shade of colour, the pavers, railings, grass, the sand of the beach, the waves rolling in, and the sun rising above the horizon of the sea, with each moment passing each colour is more vibrant then before until your surroundings are shrouded no longer, and all you see is beauty. I feel this way with Missy and its gloriously amazing that in my moments of random interaction that I’ve stumbled onto something extremely more then worthwhile, and all I can think or say is wow, with my jaw dropped, staring.

I finally feel like myself.

Anywho I just thought I’d get you up to speed with the whole “Missy” situation, to put it simply its fucking fantastic! Open-mouthed smile

Yours the genuinely happy

Alexander Vince

 

P.S Lots of funny stories from last weekend in the next post Winking smile

To Fill You In


Well I feel the need to fill you in on what’s happened between my new set of posts, and those previous 7ish months ago…. SO you can get a grip on why this feeling of happiness and such a wonderful date is an amazing change! Smile

So thinking of the past can give both pleasant, humorous, sad, embarrassing and shameful memories. for example over the last 8 months i have been  living far away from family and friends in Sydney and its pushed me through my last stages of choosing the self persecuting choices which led me astray towards a chaotic bipolar day to day living into this sense of independence and living happily content. It was during this time of chaos that my blog was practically a husk of what it used to be, and only written when I was on the happy side of this chaotic bipolar little slice of hell. To put it simply it was a series, well pretty much a pattern of “happy-disappointment-angry-upset-break up-apologies-false sense of happiness” for about 6 months. Yes if you’ve gathered so far I’m talking about my previous relationship, and now your probably thinking “why didn’t you end it sooner if you were so unhappy then?” well it wasn’t as easy that, I was both in denial and holding onto that last slither of hope that things would change, I’m not saying I wasn’t happy at all in this 6 month duration, but it was quenched and like a candle in the rain, it didn’t take long to go out.

But now the chaos is far from sight, further then the horizon. With many thanks to my friends of course who had to deal with such terror and unimaginable frustrations.

To those experiencing that chaos, I wish you good luck, and I really do hope things get better for you. But its your choice whether you want chaos over genuine happiness.

Yours the happily vibrant and un-chaotic

Alexander Vince

THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM!


Yes I am still happily content! SURPRISED? HAHA!?!?!

Okay maybe its not surprising, because for those who know me, personally and in person; know I’m a pretty happy guy, but this is beyond happiness, I’ve got a dinner date; okay don’t start thinking that I’m moving at a million miles an hour, because I’m allowed to get to know someone aren’t I? I have to admit I’m nervous, but I’ve got happy, hyper BUTTERFLIES! Its Halloween in a couple of weeks,Dress up parties here I come! I’ve also got another Bali trip this Christmas/New Years; this time my best mate Adam is coming! Oh yes so much to look forward to!

There’s only one bad thing, all the good times have been fantastic, but they fly past and then suddenly its as if time itself has said “Hey wait a second, that Alex guy is having way too much fun, lets slow down during all the boring bits so he’ll be bored out of his tits.” or perhaps I just need some sleep….

Its like when you were a kid, your day at school is painfully slow, and your anticipating to go and play out on the street with your friends when you get home. But then you’ve got homework, further draining your belittled attention span but feeding your ravenous hunger to go and play. Those three hours of playful afternoons in the sun, are never three hours, well they never seemed to be. It all ended with the sun disappearing behind the horizon, street lights turning on, and one by one all of your friends were called home for dinner, you would play until you begin to feel the cold of darkness coming or you smell your mothers amazing cooking, and off you trot, or running.

Yes I’m comparing my innocent childhood days to anticipation of a dinner date, Halloween dress up parties and my soon to be, once again inebriated Bali experience.

I just feel that somewhere over the last few weeks I’ve regained that feeling, the rush, and the “butterflies” that as a kid, I had every afternoon when the school bell rang. I’m glad Smile

 

Yours the excited and all butterflied up

Alexander Vince

P.S

HOW CUTE IS THIS LITTLE ECHIDNA!

SO FING CUTE

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