Its Been A While…..

1st of July 2011

Wow time flies, maybe not with wings, although the hour/minute arms look like wings, especially when its 9:15 Pm (yes I’m talking about a clock, I’m a bit different okay! Its called being unique!). Anyhow its Friday the 1st of July, its uni holidays and my life has vastly made itself even bigger, more complex and amazing as each second goes by. I apologize for my absolute laziness in writing my posts but how exciting would my life be if it didn’t take precedence or charge over my writing? (Even if it took over completely)

I don’t know whether i could even release it in chapters as so much has happened over the past months, that i could probably write a book. But you’ll be getting the shortened version, only the exciting bits of course!

I’ve been back up to Sydney, visited family and friends, and drank way too much! (I’ll show you some pictures!)

My best mate from Sydney came down with me to see the lime light of Launceston…(Which shall be talked of in the next post)

And oh did he have fun…. You’ll have to find out

By the way I’m a hundred percent sober, since Wednesday night/early hours of Thursday and I’m currently once again cleansing myself of smoking. Yes I know its Friday, but you have to start somewhere right! Lowered drinking levels, and a complete stop to smoking!

I’m also considering moving houses.

On the list of things to do….

THE LIST OF THINGS TO DO – UNI(always first ) – Write a story about a beautiful red dragon and an attractive blue dragon (Still working on the title and most of the story, as its still on going) – Save money(for a rainy day) – Move out of this place(long story) – Still enjoy ones self (pretty self explanatory)

But there are a many things i wish to talk about today, mainly sex, but also my girlfriend, yes that’s right girlfriend!

My previous post about the girl i met is indeed about my current girlfriend, Mars has finally met Venus, and damn its good! Pretty much 4 months in a couple of weeks She has such a lust for life it almost makes her so sick it would keep her bedridden for days, so things were pretty rocky to begin with, but now on the relationship front it seems pretty good! Hi 5 anyone?

Anyway time for sex talk!

I’ve had a many conversations with friends about the opposite sex, especially when your on your guys night out, and there’s an absolutely “drop dead gorgeous” girl wearing a skimpy, tight fitted, shiny, and extremely revealing dress, and many guys would roll around on the ground like a puppy dog, or attach a leash to themselves to hand to her, just to hope to have sex with her…. Multiple times…. But it seems like a massive annoyance to ourselves that us men, crave sex, all the time, and its worse then you think. (a guys point of view) From when you lose your virginity, its an addiction, which goes with the saying “once you pop you can’t stop” some may not feel the same way, but the majority do. Everyone has their addictions smoking, narcotics, alcohol, etc, and etc, but the stereotypical female thinking that all men want is sex, isn’t completely true, as much as I’d love to have it every hour of every day I can do without! Even though I get twitchy…. I read a story about a guy so wound up about sex, he chopped his own penis off, still didn’t fix the problem but still sounds fucked up.  Yes this is probably an extreme case of addiction or mostly some kind of insanity and isn’t quite as regular, but maybe most of us men have a “softcore” addiction to sex, or just maybe its our evolutionary instincts, as quoted by Famous Irish comedian/actor Dylan Moran “The race must continue! The race must continue!”, its also known that in the past, the male was supposed to “spread his seed” as much as possible so his lineage will continue, so where does this leave guys who are continually under scrutiny from woman. SEXIST AGAINST MEN! I THINK SO   Narr, I’m just kidding, but hopefully if a woman, or a girl is reading this and realises that there’s a reason to our “addiction” or our yearning to sex you up, you will be more understanding and you should actually take it as a compliment as they are genuinely attracted to you. Besides many “Girls feel the need to love to have sex, but guys feel the need to have sex to love.” that’s right, so moral of the story is, we’re all fucked up, so lets just have sex. Just kidding haha

OH AND P.S ON THIS STORY, If you are actually and completely terrible at sex, its called “PORN” its good research material, which is why we watched it when we were teenagers in the midst of beginning our sex lives. AND PLEASE ATLEAST TRY, AND I MEAN GENUINELY TRY TO GET HER OFF, OTHERWISE YOUR A GREEDY SELFISH BASTARD. AND AND…. I’m kinda embarrassed to say I’m pumped for the new Harry Potter movie, does anybody else think Hermione’s hot? I JUST CAN’T WAIT FOR ALL THE HARRY POTTER FANATICS TO TURN INTO AIMLESS ZOMBIES AFTER ITS RELEASE, It’ll be like “ZombieLand” or “Dawn Of The Dead”, THE ANTICIPATION IS KILLING ME! haha.

Well that’s enough for tonight…

I’m off to my girlfriends house

Yours the addicted  and the fallen

Alexander Vince

Pictures!

Yes its a top hat

Me and my mate Adam, at The Oatley Hotel… In Oatley….

Cheeese!

TOP HAT!

 MUGSHOT!

CAMERA PHONE BATTLE!

 TOM!

WITH A CAMERA PHONE!

KIRK!

TOM WITH HIS CAMERA PHONE! AGAIN!

My pet Monty, he’s a homie!

Morning i was leaving

The bottle of wine me and Adam drank before I got on the plane to Tasmania

Casino Royale

Thursday 10th of March

Yes Tomorrow(Friday) i will be heading off to the casino, all suited up, ready to kill some.. Oh wait that’s what James Bond does, I’m just going there with my buddies! to get fucked up i guess….

Now its been “grinding my gears” with no alcohol since Wednesday, and yes its been showing; there’s more colour in my face, no bags under my eyes, and no headaches…. But I’ve been told by a few people I‘m actually better when i drink, mmm alcohol doesn’t seem to effect my lifestyle, but it sure brings an almost casual feel to all situations, I guess its the lack of Johnnie Walker in my possession that has created this ramble you’ve been reading, now put up with it  

I’ve been scrounging my money, all week to try and at least have a good time this Friday, meh, what’s the point though, I might as well become the “friendly neighbourhood drug dealer, who facilitates all your illegal chemist needs for bargain prices!” lets see how long I last, but alas I know nobody, well not many people who choose such career prospects in this city of Launceston. But that’s way to cliché a uni student who deals drugs?

Now how else will one get more money! Your probably thinking “get a job! You lazy so and so” well its not like i haven’t been trying? But for now, gardening for my land lady seems alright, and for you dirty minded bastards I’m actual gardening! You have no idea how many times that dirty thought has been raised and in my place I choose not to think that way, even though if it were someone else in my place I would think the same dirty way i always do without a second thought…  Mmm “Great minds think alike” is a statement as true as gravity, or men are more superior to women… Oh just kidding!

As for women, its been alright, more study = less ‘fun time’.

Now as for the whole drug thing, there are a lot of people who are against it, and yes i agree it really fucks with people’s heads, and they’re not the same ever again, but experimenting for some is almost like living your life fully, tasting exotic cuisines, or trying every type of the female variety, which seems shallow, but as if you ladies have never wanted to try different ethnicities, such as the stereotyped, well endowed black man, African, or African-American and etc.. Its just finding a niche and working it so experimenting with drugs as i see it from a not so mature personal point of view is okay, but you have to know when to stop, maybe just to try that one time and at least you have that experience, almost like seeing that one in a life time meteor shower, except your seeing shit that isn’t there, drugs in most of my family discussions is made completely and utterly forbidden, if some parents weren’t so strict, their children might not rebel in such ways, but meh not my problem, i try here and there, but nothing that I’ve found addictive, most of the time its an anti-climax filled with washing powder.

ANYWHOOO here’s my clothing attire for Friday night:

 

Pimping?

Yours the broke, casino man, James Bond wanna be

Alexander Vince

P.S My land lady’s dog and cat had a Mexican stand off…

People

They come in all shapes and forms, short, tall, middle? Muscular, thin or big boned, but what first appearances, are at times extremely different once you start to get to know the particular person, except for complete and utter douches, first appearances definitely defines them as the ultimate douche of “douchness”. For example last Wednesday i had another student night, yes i finished off my Green Label Johnnie Walker, oh the HORROR. So anyway at “The Saloon” my friends and I were playing pool and what seemed like an extremely drunk and dumbed down version of the hulk walked towards us, except not so buff, and well not green, as for the IQ I didn’t know such lower life forms were still around(I was hoping they died off from stupidity and lack of common sense), reminded me of president bush really, but not funny enough to laugh at.

HAHAHA. That is all….

But oh god he “got up in my grill” hahah but seriously, he tried to convince me and my friends that he had apparently “won” the table, well the single cell organism was apparently at the pool table playing with other mates, yes I’d sympathize, but I’d played several games before he walked over…. So obviously after he started to get all antsy pansy I told him to “Shadazzle off” and i tried my best not to flick him off, but ehehehe what can i say?

So besides that particular incident, people in this state are extremely nice, I’ve got some new buddies, all fans of drinking, the “window shopping”, and are indeed in tune with my sense of humour. WOO! DAMN I NEARLY FORGOT. There is this one guy… BIGGEST COCK HEAD KNOWN TO MAN. Why introduce me to some girls and saying “oi listen to this guy, he has an accent, he’s so smooth and he gets so much pussy!”. Like what the fuck? I didn’t even know this guy? But I don’t care, he has to do a nudie run at some point in this cold weather, so karma and embarrassment is all going to hit this small man. HA. HAHA.

But what confuses me the most, is that men have been stereotyped to be shallow. WHATTTT! The reasoning behind this is that we have temporary memory loss and complete lack of concentration, we also do stupid things, act like apes of old ancestry involved in our mating calls or dancing when we are in a presence of a “hot” girl, or those large and almost magnetic or hypnotic “attention seekers” they are located behind, and in front. But this is absolutely wrong! I speak for myself and all men, that we have pride, we have power and NOTHING CAN TAKE THAT AWAY……………..

Wait a second! NO! NO! Fine…. I admit it. Its too hard to evade my eyes….. But yeah that’s a picture of me and a stripper, she beat me up, BUT THIS STILL DOESN’T PROVE WE ARE SHALLOW.

So if men are effected by those amazing…….. “attention seekers”, are women vulnerable to such tactics?

Lets find out i want to make a vote on whether you lady readers find this “Fidel Castro” and his “attention seekers” impossible to evade? (now i blotched his face out, for private reasons obviously)

To cast your vote, look at the comments on this post and there should be one of my comments and you either press the “” whether you like it, or the “” if you don’t.

Now as for me getting beat up by a stripper. (WARNING: IF YOU DON’T WANT MENTAL SCARS DONT READ OR LOOK FURTHER!)

Twas a many moons ago that i happened to go to an event called “Sexpo” (http://sexpo.com.au/) and there was an inflatable castle which was fortunately a strip club. The stripper who “performed” for me was a lovely nice lady, who i respect completely and utterly, As you can see from the picture earlier I’ve got my cheeky grin on and life couldn’t be better. But this was before she tied me to the strippers pole with my own scarf, pulled my pants down, ripped my bonds apart, took off my shirt, and rubbed and humped fruit and ice, into my back, and bit my bum, when she put a pear between my but cheeks. But oh that’s not the end, she whipped me with my own belt, and a studded belt. I had trouble walking, sitting down and LIFE STILL COULDN’T BE BETTER

But there is a picture of my ass in my “morning after folder” and here it is:

Bite mark and all.

But what concerned me most about my night at the strip club is that i got titties in my face, dry humped, and what i call “fetishly tortured”, which i didn’t pay for, but other people just paid for the torture…. Now maybe my moral values aren’t as fucked up as i thought, haha i was never into the whole hardcore domination thing but strip clubs they “aigghhttt”.

Now I’ve talked about douches, the cockhead, men, my new homies, strippers, the Fidel Castro looking guy, “hot” girls with their “attention seekers” but i haven’t talked about normal or average people. Now this is where it may get confusing but i don’t think there is a such thing as a normal or average person because to me normal is boring, and no matter how stale or un-delightfully monotone a person can be, you just have to get to know them, open them up or get them excited because then comes what i call “fun time”.

Yours the beat up/tortured and fun time loving

Alexander Vince

 

P.S VOTE! LIKEY! OR NO LIKEY!

P.S.S I will continue my defiance of the so called male stereotype of being shallow, next time.

P.S.S.S I love you all!

My Whisky

Well not including my glass full, I’m guessing there’s about 200 or so mL’s left in my last birthday bottle of Johnnie Walker Green Label, I have to thank my friends for such an abundance of special alcoholic gifts, as i only had a flask left of my Johnnie Walker Black Label when i got to this frozen dropping of Australia, known as “Tasmania” lovely place though. The thought of no whisky and barely any money to fuel this sweet urine coloured drink leads to my idea of sobriety, forced sobriety. “Yay” to my liver i guess.

 

Getting over people?

Now as of late I’ve noticed a lot of couples accusing each other of a lack of interest or feelings for one another, for example “Omg are you getting over me?” with an angry look while the pussy whipped boyfriend begs her “NO no no no no no waaayyy!”, but if i were him, then fuck yes, that crazy bitch has to go, no way is she giving me the crazy eyes and staying with me! Then there’s the girl with the sincere puppy dog eyes, that is just sooo fucking cute it would make my eyes bleed if i said yes. Now this led me to think, how long does it take to get over an ex or a person?

For me this has been a very long thought of subject, as even I’ve had my delving into the past ex’s, well not quite so literally, some of the time anyway…. What? You can never kill the sweet taste of “after’s sex”… Right?

Its a theory of mine that your not over a person until you literally have no emotional response over the subject of your ex, you do not care whatsoever, because even a “hate” is part of getting over a person, so sorry to those people who think “I hate my ex, he’s an arsehole” or “she’s a bitch” ladidi ladida, its actually a massive tell tale sign of what i call “post-relationship emotional responses” but come on as if you wouldn’t take her or him back, or well at least in the sack? No? Not even on a lonely night and your not taken? If your life depended on it?

Anyway apart from my intense thoughts on ex’s, I have actually had some fun of my own, my first student night/Wednesday night really gave me an insight of the fuck load of fun that happens in this place, a lot of nice people really! Then the Friday night just took me back to square one, the square of disappointment… It was like i was with a virgin, not saying that she is, but a really nice girl though, good sense of humour, apart from the fact that we were both a little plastered and i spent half of bottle of Green label that night ingesting it at an alarming rate, but what confused me even more is that i actually slept naked, and now your thinking “WHAT”, you’ve never slept naked?” no i have, but I’ve never slept naked, drunk and without a course of sexual activities, its strange its like seeing a stoner NOT stoned. That’s not the best part, imagine having her throw up in the morning, and there i am in bed thinking, “well isn’t this the fucking repeat of the virgin Mary” but yes, this is a strange ordeal for me, it was all going well and then BAM, she has a penis…. Just kidding, but seriously its almost like the nose flicking incident, must be the cold weather, or maybe i passed out naked on her bed? Mmmmm…. Thats when remembering seems to come in hand….

Yours the cold and sober one

Alexander Vince

P.s I used to have this almost feminist/sexist follower who actually constantly argued my wrong “doing’s”/“activities” with ex’s it was actually quite nice talking/ arguing/ discussing with her, or maybe him? So pop ever once in a while my friendly Anti-Alexander Vince reader!