Lust, Inevitably Leads To Loneliness Or Something Like That.

My Life Stories, From the highest to the lowest, and the grey area crap inbetween that forms my life so far…

Archive for the category “C U Next Tuesday”

Lust Inevitably Is Loneliness, I Know That Now.


Over my life I have experienced a journey, and I’m thankful, I really am.

But these last few months have been hard. From enjoying the life my parents gave me, and the seductive lifestyle of youth and carnage of naive pubescent sexual desire, I didn’t see anything wrong until I started losing a grip on who I was as a person, I flung myself through women, university, work, without taking anything seriously, yet I had a tight hold on my fun, partying and of course cigarettes. Two days after last years Christmas, I had my work induction to my new job, I had moved down to Hobart and I accepted a job in the Wrest Point Casino as yes a bartender 🙂 It was fantastic, everything was coming together, a great job with a great paycheck and for over a month I had solidly kept to my own pact of no sexual encounters until I found love.

A few weeks earlier I had previously been promised a job at an Irish pub, but was soon disappointed with the brutality of reality, horrid management and was rejected completely without an apology, it wasn’t going to be that easy in this new city. Eating plenty of cheap canned food and smoking terribly cheap cigarettes, a downed decrepit condition of living really just to save money I was soon to run out of. Suddenly though  two weeks later and three job interviews, I had my options of being a porter at a prestigious hotel(The Henry Jones Art Hotel), a kitchen hand at the Royal Tasmanian Yacht Club and a bartender at a casino with multiple bars and plenty of hours, choosing wisely I accepted the job at the casino. On this day my induction to my new job was a day I will not forget easily, arriving to the car after finding out all the nooks and crannies of my wonderful new workplace. My dear little sister who had only celebrated her 14th birthday over a month and half ago, had called me repeatedly, and left me several messages to call her urgently, sitting in the car on a suddenly, dawning dark day. I called her only find out she has been walking the streets of my old family neighbourhood in Sydney distraught with the news of my fathers infidelity, with some woman he worked with in Brisbane, after organizing my friends in Sydney to pick up my little sister and take her to their mothers house to make sure she was okay, I called my parents…

Through fits of screaming rage, throwing office chairs down the stairs and ghastly fits of anguish I was able to persuade my father to leave the house with some belongings, I couldn’t talk to my mother, she was attuned and driven to an almost rabid insane outburst of absolute pure wrath saying if she had “a gun or a knife” she would have killed my father.

It was over the next few days that my mother had calmed down, my father gave way to truth and had told both my mother and I that he had been paying for prostitutes for the entirety of the last year…

Now think, your own father, who you thought to be the working family man, who had your highest honour and pride, who had managed and coached your rugby team, who had always been there when you were in trouble, who had all the answers, who guided and taught you right from wrong, who you looked up to and idolized, single handedly proved you wrong…. No destroyed all your beliefs of him. What stops you from believing everything that was right about your father is in reality false.

I cannot fathom his decisions to do such things.

This event cracked the foundation of our family. But the with family second chances aren’t just deserving, they are a given, otherwise you would always question what if but for most of its for love.

But it wasn’t up to the rest of our immediate family or even me, it was my mother and her big full heart, she was and I do believe, will always be in love my father. They went through marriage counseling over the last couple months to decide whether they could work it out or civilly part ways.

I visited my family for my older sister’s engagement party for a weekend, it was amazing, my parents were the happiest I’d seen them in years, like school children in fact, I, as was everyone else were truly looking forward to overcoming this dark cloud.

A week after my great weekend of celebration, I had worked a ten hour shift at the casino till early in the morning, and sleeping it off, I woke up to more urgent phone calls…..

My father who was too afraid to tell my mother about several other affairs when he had the chance during the couples counseling, had been caught when my mother had accidentally found an email recently sent by my father to an ex-mistress, he then had no choice but to tell the entire truth for the last time, my father had been cheating on my mother my entire life and a divorce is inevitable…

But following the original event that started this all, my father has been seeing a psychologist, he’s found out he’s a sex addict, this lingering shadow over his head his entire life, has finally been revealed.

all starting when abused as a twelve year child by a woman in his neighbourhood, my father has been unable to control himself.

I will always love my father, no matter what, yes he provided for our family, coached my rugby team, was always there for me and my family, I will never abandon him in his time of need especially when he is completely alone.

But unfortunately, I am now lost, I don’t know what to do, my dearest mother who calls me everyday asks me what to do, asks me for advice, constantly repeats everything, and I know its not her intention, but I feel like its pulling me under, but I’ll stay strong, love makes and helps you do such things.

There’s alot of detail missing from the last few months, so I’m sorry if it sounds scattered, but its just so hard to concentrate on such a thing as this.

On the bright side I think I’ve found someone, but I’ll talk to you about that next time.

Yours genuinely, always loving but a little lost

Alexander Vince

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Casino Royale


Thursday 10th of March

Yes Tomorrow(Friday) i will be heading off to the casino, all suited up, ready to kill some.. Oh wait that’s what James Bond does, I’m just going there with my buddies! to get fucked up i guess….

Now its been “grinding my gears” with no alcohol since Wednesday, and yes its been showing; there’s more colour in my face, no bags under my eyes, and no headaches…. But I’ve been told by a few people I‘m actually better when i drink, mmm alcohol doesn’t seem to effect my lifestyle, but it sure brings an almost casual feel to all situations, I guess its the lack of Johnnie Walker in my possession that has created this ramble you’ve been reading, now put up with it Open-mouthed smile 

I’ve been scrounging my money, all week to try and at least have a good time this Friday, meh, what’s the point though, I might as well become the “friendly neighbourhood drug dealer, who facilitates all your illegal chemist needs for bargain prices!” lets see how long I last, but alas I know nobody, well not many people who choose such career prospects in this city of Launceston. But that’s way to cliché a uni student who deals drugs?

Now how else will one get more money! Your probably thinking “get a job! You lazy so and so” well its not like i haven’t been trying? But for now, gardening for my land lady seems alright, and for you dirty minded bastards I’m actual gardening! You have no idea how many times that dirty thought has been raised and in my place I choose not to think that way, even though if it were someone else in my place I would think the same dirty way i always do without a second thought…  Mmm “Great minds think alike” is a statement as true as gravity, or men are more superior to women… Oh just kidding! Smile with tongue out

As for women, its been alright, more study = less ‘fun time’.

Now as for the whole drug thing, there are a lot of people who are against it, and yes i agree it really fucks with people’s heads, and they’re not the same ever again, but experimenting for some is almost like living your life fully, tasting exotic cuisines, or trying every type of the female variety, which seems shallow, but as if you ladies have never wanted to try different ethnicities, such as the stereotyped, well endowed black man, African, or African-American and etc.. Its just finding a niche and working it Smile so experimenting with drugs as i see it from a not so mature personal point of view is okay, but you have to know when to stop, maybe just to try that one time and at least you have that experience, almost like seeing that one in a life time meteor shower, except your seeing shit that isn’t there, drugs in most of my family discussions is made completely and utterly forbidden, if some parents weren’t so strict, their children might not rebel in such ways, but meh not my problem, i try here and there, but nothing that I’ve found addictive, most of the time its an anti-climax filled with washing powder.

ANYWHOOO here’s my clothing attire for Friday night:

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Pimping? Open-mouthed smile

Yours the broke, casino man, James Bond wanna be

Alexander Vince

P.S My land lady’s dog and cat had a Mexican stand off…

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People


They come in all shapes and forms, short, tall, middle? Muscular, thin or big boned, but what first appearances, are at times extremely different once you start to get to know the particular person, except for complete and utter douches, first appearances definitely defines them as the ultimate douche of “douchness”. For example last Wednesday i had another student night, yes i finished off my Green Label Johnnie Walker, oh the HORROR. So anyway at “The Saloon” my friends and I were playing pool and what seemed like an extremely drunk and dumbed down version of the hulk walked towards us, except not so buff, and well not green, as for the IQ I didn’t know such lower life forms were still around(I was hoping they died off from stupidity and lack of common sense), reminded me of president bush really, but not funny enough to laugh at.

bush_tired

HAHAHA. That is all….

But oh god he “got up in my grill” hahah but seriously, he tried to convince me and my friends that he had apparently “won” the table, well the single cell organism was apparently at the pool table playing with other mates, yes I’d sympathize, but I’d played several games before he walked over…. So obviously after he started to get all antsy pansy I told him to “Shadazzle off” and i tried my best not to flick him off, but ehehehe what can i say?

So besides that particular incident, people in this state are extremely nice, I’ve got some new buddies, all fans of drinking, the “window shopping”, and are indeed in tune with my sense of humour. WOO! DAMN I NEARLY FORGOT. There is this one guy… BIGGEST COCK HEAD KNOWN TO MAN. Why introduce me to some girls and saying “oi listen to this guy, he has an accent, he’s so smooth and he gets so much pussy!”. Like what the fuck? I didn’t even know this guy? But I don’t care, he has to do a nudie run at some point in this cold weather, so karma and embarrassment is all going to hit this small man. HA. HAHA.

But what confuses me the most, is that men have been stereotyped to be shallow. WHATTTT! The reasoning behind this is that we have temporary memory loss and complete lack of concentration, we also do stupid things, act like apes of old ancestry involved in our mating calls or dancing when we are in a presence of a “hot” girl, or those large and almost magnetic or hypnotic “attention seekers” they are located behind, and in front. But this is absolutely wrong! I speak for myself and all men, that we have pride, we have power and NOTHING CAN TAKE THAT AWAY……………..

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Wait a second! NO! NO! Fine…. I admit it. Its too hard to evade my eyes….. But yeah that’s a picture of me and a stripper, she beat me up, BUT THIS STILL DOESN’T PROVE WE ARE SHALLOW.

So if men are effected by those amazing…….. “attention seekers”, are women vulnerable to such tactics?

Lets find out i want to make a vote on whether you lady readers find this “Fidel Castro” and his “attention seekers” impossible to evade? (now i blotched his face out, for private reasons obviously)

Fidel Castro

To cast your vote, look at the comments on this post and there should be one of my comments and you either press the “Thumbs up” whether you like it, or the “Thumbs down” if you don’t.

Now as for me getting beat up by a stripper. (WARNING: IF YOU DON’T WANT MENTAL SCARS DONT READ OR LOOK FURTHER!)

Twas a many moons ago that i happened to go to an event called “Sexpo” (http://sexpo.com.au/) and there was an inflatable castle which was fortunately a strip club. The stripper who “performed” for me was a lovely nice lady, who i respect completely and utterly, As you can see from the picture earlier I’ve got my cheeky grin on and life couldn’t be better. But this was before she tied me to the strippers pole with my own scarf, pulled my pants down, ripped my bonds apart, took off my shirt, and rubbed and humped fruit and ice, into my back, and bit my bum, when she put a pear between my but cheeks. But oh that’s not the end, she whipped me with my own belt, and a studded belt. I had trouble walking, sitting down and LIFE STILL COULDN’T BE BETTER Open-mouthed smile

But there is a picture of my ass in my “morning after folder” and here it is:

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Bite mark and all.

But what concerned me most about my night at the strip club is that i got titties in my face, dry humped, and what i call “fetishly tortured”, which i didn’t pay for, but other people just paid for the torture…. Now maybe my moral values aren’t as fucked up as i thought, haha i was never into the whole hardcore domination thing but strip clubs they “aigghhttt”.

Now I’ve talked about douches, the cockhead, men, my new homies, strippers, the Fidel Castro looking guy, “hot” girls with their “attention seekers” but i haven’t talked about normal or average people. Now this is where it may get confusing but i don’t think there is a such thing as a normal or average person because to me normal is boring, and no matter how stale or un-delightfully monotone a person can be, you just have to get to know them, open them up or get them excited because then comes what i call “fun time”.

Winking smile

Yours the beat up/tortured and fun time loving

Alexander Vince

 

P.S VOTE! Thumbs up LIKEY! OR Thumbs down NO LIKEY!

P.S.S I will continue my defiance of the so called male stereotype of being shallow, next time.

P.S.S.S I love you all! Open-mouthed smile

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