So as an adult there are certain things expected of me, both responsibility, as well as having the wisdom to deal with situations appropriately. Well of course these things come with time and experience, but burning yourself out because there is a lack of rush an excitement takes its toll, but with taking that toll, the boring and dull day to day becomes more aggravating and unbearable, but where do you stop and think what am I doing? Slowly killing one self with the destructive after effects of alcoholism, only to end the night in the bed of another?
Jesus it seems all so meaningless all of a sudden, where do you draw the line? I believe this alcoholism and addiction to the ideals of casual sex is corrupting both my generation and the youth to follow, I used to believe in the excitement of the chase and the catch, being seen as something worthy among friends and others, but now its meaningless with a self loathing catchy name as a man whore or player, it almost makes me feel hollow, have you ever thought about all those relationships that didn’t work and the “what if’s”?
It’s a deadly cycle of being interested in someone yet that interest failing as quickly as it came often leading me to realize that I’m not quite available as I was the night before, and then she’s gone leaving another road not taken, her leap of faith wasted, and another “what if”?
That responsibility and wisdom better come damn fast, because I’m not liking this self purgatory anymore.
Yours the irresponsible and unwise