MmmMmMMm….

So aside from seeing “hot ass babes”, snobby people/models, and Asians, Bali has finally provided for both Gilly and myself, an amazing new years celebration. It had its elements of family bonding, amazing food, a lovely supply of alcohol, new years top hats, drunk dancing, with the overused new years celebration songs and of course the long awaited final countdown with a batch of balloons dropping from the ceiling, yes I know how cliché  is the whole balloon thing nowadays? They should of had monkey’s or piñatas, or even hot ass bikini models, now that is a new years celebration to remember, well maybe they shouldn’t drop them from the ceiling… But you get what I mean

Oh no and that’s not the end of it, something devastating happened, something completely unthinkable, I lost Gilly… But the good thing is he was in a pair of naughty hands of his own So proud I am of the lust drunk bastard.

As the thought of Gilly’s whereabouts came rushing to my drunken state of mind, something appeared walking along the beach, it was a Russian friend I had met a couple nights before hand, she was short, but built by Satan, I don’t think my eyes could have been torn off this girl even if you used a crowbar, not only that! SHE LAUGHED, AND SMILED?!?!?!?! Yes to be honest I don’t think I’ve seen a Russian smile so much let alone laugh most Russians I’ve met “see the cup as half empty”, but she was the complete opposite. So either the alcohol rendered my speech completely and utterly turned it into gibberish , or I honestly made her laugh, what do you think? Either way my night ended up as the way new years is supposed to end up, happy, or should i say happily depleted, or happily used up? Oh i love Bali

So yes that’s right! The Russian mafia are after me for defiling their daughter….. Just kidding, BUT SERIOUSLY I LIVE IN BRISBANE NOT SYDNEY

Damn awkward moments chase me everywhere…. Having drunk 14 year old Scottish kids come up to me and saying “IS THAT ALEX?” While I’m curled up on the beach with “the Russian”, and then the snobby supermodel sees me, with a face of disgust, and I show my cheeky grin back, nope I don’t receive a giggle, nor a smirk, or a smile the whole time i did talk to her. But now I receive a complete face of disgust and complaining that she was the only one her age there besides me…. Well obviously she didn’t get the memo, she has to be “this far out of her ass for me to hear her”, well I guess that’s why I got such a short “farewell” from her when I left Bali, ahh well, in the words of the rolling stones “you cannot always get what you want”. But i did? My little Russian, far outdid my expectations!

But after I walked “the Russian” to her room, I began to worry about Gilly, Maybe the Russians got to him…. But only the one did, and she was a ballroom dancer, who “isn’t a hooker or a stripper” and “made his night”. But yes his traumatic experience with his Asian friend is forgotten, now both he and I might have new obsessions and they are “Russians”!

Yours the fun loving, Russian loving

Alexander Vince

A Hint Of Jealousy?

So its Sunday the 26th of December, its been a week tomorrow in this paradise, of pools, beaches, mojito’s, concoctions of rum, vodka and tequila cocktails and amazing people from all around the world, but what do old and/or ugly Russians have in common here in Bali?

Hot ass babes! which many of you would immediately think “ahh gold diggers”, but a newly made friend of mine has made me think otherwise, these women seem to lack a ring on the finger, and only seem to be with their counter parts in the night… partners? escorts? hookers? Who knows? But damn, I’m jealous.

The bad news, they don’t share hookers, JUST KIDDING! I’m not THAT depraved and degrading, but the hotel I’m staying at seems to be a major couples retreat, for the snobby and of course Russians. I have to say it was a lonely place, Until my buddy Gilly gay boy decided to turn up, just kidding he’s all about the vagina, he was my wing man, and last night on the prowl for some fun when we both came to the conclusion that we’ve never had the “courtesy or company” of an Asian, and as if it was the work of the sex gods, we happen to bump into some lovely Asian girls, who happen to take interest, and even though our language skills in mandarin lacked significantly, i coped well, but unfortunately for Gilly, the night ended in disaster, rushing into a particular situation, he was Literally “lost in translation”, as she was screaming in a completely different language, as well as the lack of “room”. But i have to say, besides the continuous complaining, from Gilly, as well as his soon to be repressed memories of that night, i think on the inside he enjoyed it. Too bad when we said, we’ve never been with hot Brazilian bikini models, the situation never arose.

Yours the jealous one

Alexander Vince

P.S Feel free to comment down below on anything you would like to highlight either because it offends you or tickles your fancy its your choice, brutal truth, don’t worry i have rock hard skin, in one place.

What did you do?

So Here you are thinking, “what the hell man, Its been over two weeks since your last post!”, “we’ve missed the blood, guts and you getting abused by red head feminists!” and your probably also wondering “what did you do on new years?” hoping that i got myself into some strange and amusing situation leaving me with one testicle and a best friend whose actually a “Wilson” Soccer ball….

Well to tell you the truth, the boredom of Sydney got to me, the amount of men in compared to women in Sydney clubs was just outright wrong, it felt like i was in oxford street. So i tagged along for a family holiday in Bali! Yes at the moment its 6.46 pm on the 20th of December 2010, and I’m on a plane somewhere over the rugged new south wales country, on a six and a half hour aeroplane trip, oh and of course I’ve invested in some tax free alcohol in the duty free!

Now back to the in-flight bar!

 

* * *

I hope everybody has had an amazing Christmas and New years! It’s the 8th of January 2011, and I’ll slowly get my posts up that i wrote over the last couple of weeks in Bali, sadly ending on the 6th, everybody hates the holidays end, unless your a workaholic and your holidays are more like work….. But who cares about those sad Individuals, they lack scrotum to have fun and enjoy themselves!

Anywhooosss feel free to subscribe or read!

Yours the unhappily back from holidays

Alexander Vince