QUICK CATCH UP ON MY LIFE:
– No girlfriend. Didn’t end on good terms, but then again most never do. In short, things don’t always work out, apart from that its too long and complex to explain. But then again I wasn’t truthful with myself, which you can see in my blogs from before, quite a state of denial indeed.
– Work is great.
– Life is definitely fantastic, with its leaps and bounds of joy.
– Plenty of coffee, French cafe music, and cigarettes while sitting in the wonderful sun growing a tan with my best friend Adam.
Adam and I “chilling” in the glorious sun!
Now to the main part of my blog! (Be warned its a bit of a serious blog)
So picture me trying to hold together a good moral decision against a chance of early morning lust filled adventures, while “under the influence of alcohol’, a tremendous amount of attraction towards this particular individual, as well as a sex drive that on most occasions drives me to a barely self contained insanity.
To a great deal of surprise I took the high road instead of the lower; where my previous sexual young deviant self wouldn’t of thought twice. I founded a great deal of respect for myself in doing so.
Your probably wondering where my reasoning behind my moral decision came from; well it was due to the fact this particular person was in a relationship and drunken decisions are often seen as a decision that is easily accused as the wrong decision “mistakenly made” due to the inebriation, unlike a sober decision which is less likely to be seen as such a mistake. it’s not only because of the thoughts of “a regretful decision” but there is a respect that i hold for this particular girl, and if i were to ever perhaps show my feelings or even be friends with her, a drunken mishap and the guilt she would of felt by making that decision so quickly or without any reasoning(other than, oh he’s funny, cute and wants me so bad) would most likely destroy any chances of that possibly happening. Yes my drunken mind made this split second moment of massive thought and decision; when our eyes met, both of us steadily but softly leaning and quietly arching in for what was leading towards a kiss, and i turned my cheek. But things differed the next day with many a talks.
Its never been my intention of causing frustration or grief, we’ll see how things go but “I hope”.
Yours the more self respected and hopeful